manage big emotions: Relaxation Techniques For kids

Young children live in a world of big emotions and endless energy. While their enthusiasm and curiosity are wonderful, they can also become overwhelmed by feelings they don't yet have the words to express. Teaching young children relaxation techniques isn't just about managing meltdowns - it is about giving them lifelong tools for emotional regulation, better sleep, and overall well-being. By introducing these skills early, we're helping children develop healthy coping mechanisms that will serve them throughout their lives.

help kids Manage Big Emotions

Children are still developing the neural pathways that help regulate emotions and stress responses. Their nervous systems are learning how to shift between states of excitement and calm, but they often need guidance to find that peaceful place. When children learn relaxation techniques, they develop greater self-awareness and gain tools to manage anxiety, frustration, and overstimulation.

These techniques also support better sleep, improved focus, and enhanced emotional resilience. Perhaps most importantly, when children learn that they have the power to calm themselves, it builds self-confidence that extends into all areas of their lives.

Creating The Right Environment

Before you get started teaching your child relaxation techniques, it is important to set

up a calm environment. Choose a quiet space where your child feels safe and comfortable. Dim the lights, eliminate distractions like toys or electronics, and consider playing soft music. Some children benefit from having a special "calm down" blanket or stuffed animal nearby.

Remember that kids have short attention spans, so keep sessions brief - typically 5-10 minutes is ideal. The goal isn't perfection but rather helping your child become familiar with these tools so they can use them independently over time.

Breathing Exercises For Kids: The Foundation Of Calm

Deep breathing is perhaps the most fundamental relaxation technique, and it's

wonderfully accessible for young children when presented in playful, imaginative ways.

Box Breathing (The Magic Square)

This structured breathing technique helps children develop rhythm and focus while creating a sense of order and calm.

Steps:

1. Have your child sit comfortably and imagine drawing a big square in the air with their finger (or trace the provided box i

   n the video).

2. Explain they are going to breathe around the edges of their "magic square.”

3. Side 1 (Top): Breathe in slowly through the nose while tracing the top of the square (count to 4: "1-Mississippi, 2-Mississippi, 3-Mississippi, 4-Mississippi").

4. Side 2 (Right): Hold their breath while tracing down the right side of the square (count to 4).

5. Side 3 (Bottom): Breathe out slowly through the mouth while tracing across the bottom of the square (count to 4).

6. Side 4 (Left): Hold their breath while tracing up the left side, to the start (count to 4).

7. Repeat this "magic square" breathing 4-5 times.

   
   

Pro tips: 

• For younger preschoolers, you can reduce the count to 2 or 3 if 4 feels too long.

• Use a visual aid: Either watch the video attached below. Or, draw a square on paper and let them trace it with their finger as they breathe.

Flower & Candle Breathing

This technique transforms breathing into a sensory game that preschoolers love.

Steps:

1. Have your child sit comfortably or lie down.

2. Tell them to imagine they are holding a beautiful flower in one hand and a birthday candle in the other.

3. Guide them to "smell the flower" by taking a slow, deep breath in through their nose (for about 3-4 seconds).

4. Then have them "blow out the candle" with a long, gentle exhale through their mouth (for about 4-5 seconds).

5. Repeat this 5-8 times.

Pro tip: You can enhance this by actually using a real flower or having them blow on a pinwheel or bubble wand to make the exhale more engaging.

Guided Imagery: Imagine Their Happy Place

Guided imagery taps into preschoolers' natural storytelling abilities and vivid imaginations to create peaceful mental experiences.

Creating Your Child's Personal Happy Place

This technique empowers children to create their own unique calm space using their imagination and personal experiences.

Steps:

1. Have your child get comfortable and close their eyes.

2. Say: "I want you to think of a place that makes you feel really happy.”

3. Give them a moment to think, then gently ask guiding questions:

   • "What are you doing in your happy place?"

   • "What do you see when you look around?"

   • "What sounds do you hear?"

   • "Are there any special smells?"

   • "What does the air feel like on your skin?"

   • "Is there anything you can taste?"

   • "How does your body feel in this place?"

4. Encourage them to share as much detail as possible: "Tell me more about that!" or "What else do you notice?"

5. Guide them to spend a few quiet moments just enjoying their happy place.

6. When ready, help them slowly return: "You can visit your happy place anytime you want. When you're ready, slowly open your eyes and bring that calm feeling back with you."

Pro Tips:

• After the session, write down their description together or help them draw their happy place.

• Record them describing their happy place on your phone so they can listen to their own voice guiding them there.

• Create a "happy place book" with drawings and descriptions they can look at anytime.

• Remind them they can visit this place in their mind whenever they need to feel calm.

Examples of children's happy places:

• Playing at the playground

• Snuggled in bed with favorite stuffed animals

• Building sandcastles at the beach

• Reading books in a cozy corner

• Playing with pets in the backyard

• Having a picnic under a big tree

For more information, check out Lumie’s Lessons In The Book for Easy-Breezy Shots!

Making Relaxation Part Of Daily Life

Timing Is Everything

The best times to practice relaxation techniques with preschoolers include:

• Before naptime or bedtime to help with sleep

• After high-energy activities to help transition to quieter activities

• When you notice signs of overstimulation or frustration

• As part of a regular daily routine, like after lunch

Start Small & Be Patient

Remember that young children are still learning how to focus their attention. Don't expect them to master these techniques immediately. Start with just 2-3 minutes and gradually increase as they become more comfortable. Some days they'll be more receptive than others, and that's perfectly normal.

Make It Playful, Not Perfect

The goal isn't for your child to perform these techniques perfectly. It is for them to become familiar with the tools and begin to understand how they can help themselves feel calmer. Keep the atmosphere light and playful. If your child giggles during breathing exercises or wants to add their own creative elements to guided imagery, embrace it!

Building Lifelong Skills

Teaching relaxation techniques to preschoolers is an investment in their emotional and mental health that will pay dividends throughout their lives. These early experiences with mindfulness and self-regulation become the foundation for healthy stress management, emotional intelligence, and overall well-being.

As your child practices these techniques, they'll develop greater awareness of their internal states and confidence in their ability to influence how they feel. They'll learn that when big emotions arise, they have tools to help themselves find calm. This sense of agency and self-confidence is invaluable as they navigate the challenges of growing up.

Remember to model relaxation yourself. Children learn as much from watching us as from our direct teaching. When they see us taking deep breaths during stressful moments or talking about the importance of rest and calm, they internalize these values and behaviors.

Final Thoughts 

The journey of teaching relaxation to kids is really a journey of discovery for both parent and child. You're exploring together what works best for your unique little one, while building connection and important life skills. Be patient with the process and trust you're giving your child tools that will serve them well throughout their life.

Helping children relax - one blog at a time!